JeSTeR

Venting / Expressing?

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 12:50:02 GMT

Its feels strange to be writing an entry after so long. I just want to get things in my mind out.

Lets begin with summer.
Over all I'd say interesting. Too many things have gone by to list, but I'll just note a few things I've lost and gained.
I've stopped smoking weed, not that I was ever a heavy user anyways but,
I've picked up smoking...I've been able to keep it at socially only for now.
My drinking habits are occasional say the least, but thats about to change too with the arrival of my fake I.D.
I'm sure that streak is over heh.
I've only gambled once this summer at Morangos came up 180. Not too shabby.
There was a whole bunch of down time where there was absolutely nothing to do.
So I picked up my adobe skills quite a bit, been working on flyers, and party promoting.
Septembers around the corner and I've started preping for the Fall rush.
Did I meantion I'm Vice Pres of my frat this year. Things are picking up pretty quick.
I plan on being pretty busy from now till classes begin.

The things that been on my mind, I guess the reason I'm writing this post is what happened recently.
Its my own fault, I'd like to say first.
I gave away something quite important to me.
My ring...
Sure it has an actual value of $10, but without even saying its worth plenty more.
I gave it to a friend that I wanted to see happy. It served its purpose.
I guess I just have detachment issues.
I keep telling myself its gaining value because it'll have meaning to her as well.
I want it back...but I don't at the same time.....

Why I should be grateful.

Mon, 27 Dec 2004 08:30:12 GMT

Lots of thinking time resulted in this.

Why I should be grateful.

FOR:
Family in all its forms.
Friends that have supported me for years.
The opportunity to attain a better future.
Everything that I possess.
Being alive.

When it comes down to it, things are really simple, but we tend to complicate.

Trying to be happier is selfish. We've lost sight in what is important.

Go back to basics.

Updated Winter

Thu, 23 Dec 2004 05:17:08 GMT

12/19: Duke's
WHOA!!! Crystal finished the steak!!! DAMN!!! Impressive. Was a great evening. Me, Laura, Ms. C. Ocean side view, candle lit table, and the best damn steak ever. whoooooo. Needless to say, none of us could move after, but that's ok! Was well worth it. No meat for a while...

12/20: B-day (Susan)
Was bitter sweet, I barly got to see everyone then I had to bail for Fresno. I was quite pissed. Hang, Nancy, CHRISTINE!!, SUSAN, MAI Phuoung hehe. Damn I missed Amy. mucho sad. meloncholy...

12/21-22: Fresno
Was a good trip. Arrived at 1:00 A.M., slept. Next day, went to get Nicole's oil changed, had Mexican food for lunch. Dinner was sweeeet. SUSHI!!! With Tempura Ice Cream!!!! whoa!!!! goooooood stuffffffffffffffff. Good bonding time. had lots of fun hehe. And now Poker night. 10 man tourney. Doesn't get better than this.

12/23: ??

12/24: ??

12/25: X-mas, Family

12/26-31: FREE
Fill this gap right here

Sched. Winter

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 21:27:40 GMT

INTRO TO CELL & MOLECULAR BIOL
BIOL-005A-001 3.00 MWF 1010AM-1100AM UNLH 1000

INTRO TO CELL & MOLECULR BIO LAB
BIOL-05LA-018 1.00 R 0110PM-0400PM SPTH 1122

GENERAL CHEMISTRY
CHEM-001B-001 4.00 MWF 1110AM-1200PM BRNHL B118

LABORATORY
CHEM-001B-055 NG 0.00 R 0610PM-0900PM PRCE 1340

INTERMEDIATE COMPOSITION (Waitlisted)
ENGL-001B-038 4.00 MWF 0110PM-0200PM OLMH 1132

INTRODUCTORY PSYCHOLOGY
PSYC-002 -001 4.00 MWF 0910AM-1000AM UNLH 1000

DISCUSSION
PSYC-002 -028 NG 0.00 T 0210PM-0300PM OLMH 0420

ugh, Poetry again.

Sun, 19 Dec 2004 21:08:46 GMT

Typhoon In Thought
What is it that I miss?
Is it your smile?
Your eyes?
The way you shy away?
Can distance really cause the mind to drift?
What makes you, you??
Why are the little things so important?
Who am I to wonder why?
Where's the right, when things seem so wrong?
Does it matter? No.

What matters?
The fact that you won't leave my mind.
The memory of your smile.
The softness in your eyes.
The way you shy away.
Distance is but illusion.
You are the most precious thing you can be.
Everything has meaning.
I am nothing, compared to you.
Right is what you feel inside.
This all matters..........

Winter Update

Sun, 19 Dec 2004 20:31:21 GMT

For This Month: (Running on and off)
12/11: Julie!!
I got back from Riverside at about 3:30 P.M., Showered and headed to JD's. I missed her, haha. Very occasional meetings, but the convos are great. Ended up going to Rolling Hills to buy pencils, haha. Actually shoot pool, but eh over priced. Ate at Mac Grill down in Manhattan. That was funny, watching JD be all happy. Tap-X for the rest of the night. From 9:00p.m. - 12:00p.m. Gotta love the stuff she brings up. Relational issues, Gender mentality, tendencies, man, its my intellectual convo. Miss you much JD. Gotta do this again soon.

12/12: Laguna (grubbin)
Ah, Laguna Beach (the place not show) was great, nice beach scene, I DIDN'T get lost this time (damn proud haha), Meet up with Nicole and went to a Chinese place. Pretty good food. Decided to go to La Mirada and visit Jen, man her college reminds me to much of HS. Too many white people. Surprised they dont have a Kappa Kappa Kappa frat, hahaha KKK, hahaha. eh. good night, missin them all so it was rather nostalgic.

12/13: Forgot?
I really don't remember......seriously........can be a good thing......or bad thing...........

12/14: Ocean's 12 w/ Nic./Ms.C
Nic came down to my place this time. Went to Seafood Port. Man walnut shrimp is gooood. It's been a long time. Grubbed, dropped Nic off at her car and chilled with Crystal until t'was time to watch Ocean's 12. GOOOD movie, I highly recomend it.

12/15: Sugar Rush w/ Ms. C
Visited the HS. yea I dunno why. but we did. Went to Creme de la Crepe for lunch. French food, gotta love it. Free desert crepe. The waiter was pretty cool. Food coma right after that though. Still went to Mitsuwa and loaded up on sugar, Eclairs, pocky, creme puffs, red bean ice creme etc etc. man Crazy sugar high hahahaha. was a funny night.

12/16: UCLA w/ Susan
Just hung out with Susan =), Damn I've Miss you too!

12/17: Kick back w/ Ms. C
Low budget day, sat around watching movies and such pretty much the whole day. EUROTRIP!!!!!!

12/18: !@#$!@%^!#$#@
A Day better left unspoken about..............................................................................

EXACTLY HOW I AM THIS VERY MOMMENT.

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 05:46:02 GMT

Linkin Park Numb lyrics
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure, of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)

[Chorus:]
I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart, right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
An' every second I waste is more than I can take

[Chorus: Repeat]

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me
With someone disappointed in you

[Chorus: Repeat]

I've
Become so numb
I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be (x2)

Neverending Headache!!!!!!

Sun, 05 Dec 2004 02:14:54 GMT

Head throbin' and I'ma write a poem. Hmmmm, thinking while in pain...oh well.

Melancholy Melody

The first sound, the second note, the third emotion,
The where’s and why’s of how it came to be,
A slow pulse, invading the senses,
Relax, and remember the impression that you made on me,

Sweet upon ears, sedative to hear, chords of poison,
Why must this echo beyond my mind?
Raging the essence of buried thoughts,
Rescue me from the pleasant insanity,

Slipping slowly away, softly fading,
It engulfs me with shards of nostalgia,
Left over from yesterday,
Lingering till the next day.

Bailing.

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 12:28:08 GMT

Gone tmo. Back in LA. good shit!!!
Going Black Friday shopping, that should be interesting for sure. Good ol 3 A.M. lines. heh.
I can honestly say that this last week has been dragging, but its acutally kinda nice.
Ugh, too tired to type. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

ChhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiLLLLLLLLLLLL

Mon, 22 Nov 2004 23:54:31 GMT

It is, very much so. Got the song Nightmare stuck in my head. I swear, some of the best music have no words. Imagine a creepy amusement park sound, and that describes the whole song. Feelin, great, life's good, nuff said. Time to chill for the week and Thanksgiving then hit the books hard. Got this mess down. Sup to everyone!

Humor.

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 03:17:47 GMT

People are such fragile things.

Moods Cont.

Sat, 13 Nov 2004 00:18:00 GMT

Wicked Smile
Cornered, blank, luscious
Centered, beautified, loved
Crossed, broken, longing
Captured, braced, lifted

Morongo

Thu, 11 Nov 2004 11:52:12 GMT

Just one thing.

Winnings: $90+
need I say more? hahahaha

Needed Peace

Wed, 10 Nov 2004 00:49:23 GMT

I'm going to start with the poetry again. That'll make Sandy happy, heh. Nothing good right now, just mental anguish. Simple. Direct.

Hostility
My peace has been disturbed.
You're starting to annoy me.
I want to beat you down.
No longer chill.

One of those Drifting thought days.

Thu, 04 Nov 2004 19:38:09 GMT

Lyrics: Paul Oakenfold - Southern Sun

piece by piece
I release
once was mine
now undone
turned blue like New
Orleans
and went down like
a southern sun
I still feel you
beneath my skin
I am tempted
to throw my senses in
'cos its easier to fly
than to face another night in southern sun
and your love is all around
(x2)
in the air to set me free
set me free
you last like a song
I'm deflated
I am pieces on the wind
unrelated
I still feel you
beneath my skin
I am tempted
to throw my senses in
'cos its easier to fly
than to face another night in southern sun
and your love is all around
in the air to set me free
set me free
'cos its easier to fly
set me free

HO-LE Sh-It
I swear, trance makes more sense than any other type of music and there's trance for every occasion.
Southern Sun hit me like crazy. I've been thinking about this song for about two weeks. Anit (note: anit not a word) that crazy.
Being free, at peace, in love. Man that is the shit right there. I need to complete two more of those three and I'll be flying high. Need peace and love.
oh smitty, I sound like a hippy, what the fuck is up with that. I want to write out my translation of this mess, but its all in my head and I can't quite put it into words.
Maybe if I don't go gambling tonight, I'll go philosoph on this song, but for now I'm just killing time till lunch.

Chillin?

Thu, 07 Oct 2004 08:31:42 GMT

Its one of those days, class, reading, homework, club, and back to the dorm. I'm a night owl 100%. I don't sleep much. The thing about today is that I'm starting to loosen up. Seriously, I've been so fucking relaxed today, its crazy. Why, I don't know. I think I settled back into that, lets live life and not give a fuck. I guess I go through cycles of shit, and I'm back on top, finally. So lets live life like it should be, and hold nothing back. I'm back to my old self starting tmo. So kiss this phase good bye. see ya.

A&I

Mon, 04 Oct 2004 05:03:41 GMT

Yesterday was interesting. I went back to LA for a bit to do laundry, was hoping to see some people from LA or what not, but eh oh well. Silvi came along, I guess she got that bored, but its better than being here when no ones here. I just picked up a few T-shirts, and a belt which I've been needing. Had some time to see Linh. Damn nostalgia. Good shit, gotta visit Linh up in UCI soon. Got back to UCR and kicked it with Silvi some more in A&I. haha, brought over the N64. I havn't played Smash Bro's since...I can't even remember, it was back in the Tim, John, Bang, days. Not much after though, just spent the night in Silvi's room since her RM was out for the weekend.

Zeta Update

Fri, 01 Oct 2004 21:39:48 GMT

The event at Incahoots was crazy. I meet a good amount of Zeta's (Andrew, Jeff, Sean, Luis, Larry...?) and their friends (mucho chickas, Christina, Conny, Amy, Lani, Tiff, some names escape my mind for the momment) I can't remember some of their names, but I hope to see them again, all seem really coo (+"hella" cuties) fosho. Considering there were a couple of other events happening the same night (i.e. Lambdas, Pineapples, one other, and a Jimmy Eat World concert), the turn out was huge. So I bailed from campus around 8:30p.m.? Jeff (coo guy right there) came by picked me up and headed to get Christina and Conny. Not more to really describe, just imagine the usual club scene with all out asian girls.

You kind of wonder why I'd want to become a Zeta. Well, it's not because my cousins a Zeta, its for the experience, for the memories, for the fun, for the brotherhood.
That's cult sounding, but its not. haha

Morning after.

Fri, 01 Oct 2004 19:44:59 GMT

I'll update on the Zeta party tonight, but for now, I felt like shit waking up. Semi bad hangover, but I'm alright. Lunch with Silvi and back to the dorm. Dunno why, but I'm bustin it to Soul for Real, such old school music, tight lyrics. Gotta love the classics.

1-My love, do you ever dream of
Candy coated raindrops?
You're the same, my candy rain

Have you ever loved someone
So much you thought you'd die?
Giving so much of yourself
It seems the only way
Tell me what you want, and I
And I will give it to you
'Cause you are
(repeat 1)

My love
Did you ever dream that it could be so right
I never thought that I would find
All that I need in life
All I want, all I need now I know
I know I found it in you
I found it in you
'cause you are (rpt 1, 1...)

GOOD SHIT?!!!

Don't ask me to sing cuz I won't do it, shooo. haha, or maybe I'll think about it.

Time for a re-revamp maybe?
We shall see.
For now, lets see how things go.

Time Killer

Thu, 30 Sep 2004 22:39:02 GMT

Lately its been alright, I woke up this morning and to fucking go to a Dis session at 7 A.M. All I did was answer two questions and leave. What in the hell is that shit? What bull. When I'm in the dorm, its pretty chill, I'm a bit isolated in a sense, but it's coo. I've been kicking it with Silvi lately and less and less with Diana and Christie. It's not a conscious thing that I'm doing, just how things are turning out. I'm more kick back around Silvi anyways. That's a home girl I'll protect right there. Don't fuck with Silvi or I'll fuck you up fosho. Oh yea, when I got back from that DIS session, I went back to sleep, and slept through Linguistics, haha, oh well. I'm starting to pick up my habits again. Slowly getting back in to study mode I guess. Gotta get my shit in order quickly. For now I'm Killing time till my seminar, that's bull too. Aite, gonna roll to class...

Party up in Pentland Hills!

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 17:40:48 GMT

Shit, hahahahahaha, is all I really gotta say. Lets recap the last few days.

18th
Move in day: was a bitch to move all that shit in, but ey, it's done and over with so who gives a fuck. I'm in L214.

People down the hall from left to right.
Augusto/Anthony
Jon/Andrew
John/Spencer
Me/Andy

No icebreaker, semi tense in the hall, no one comes out really, at least at this point anyways.

19th
Pretty slow for the most part, but then a Carmen poster down the hall breaks the silence, and the hall wakes up, the intro of life. Much more laid back now.

20th
Things are tight, our suite is the place to be, if only the rest of the building would wake the fuck up, things would be interesting. Oh yea, poker night was this day, mad fun, good shit all around.

Bored again.

Tue, 31 Aug 2004 00:55:33 GMT

At your ten year high school reunion... by robbiewriter
Your school name
Your name
Your job will be	Cult Leader
You will be worth	$559,126
Everyone will think you	are really hot

Quiz created with MemeGen!

LJ House Party by fayray

Username

The DJ

sixhighsilver

The Drunk

henrwhy

The Hottie

youatemysushi

The Wallflower

beatlejuice101

The Player

la_vie_secret

The Gambler

starzindanite

The Horny One

angelstarshine

The Crasher

ouch_headache

The Love Interest

jazzman554

How many people got laid

Chances the party will be a sucess: 64%

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Free Ipod

Sun, 22 Aug 2004 18:22:57 GMT

http://www.freeiPods.com/default.aspx?referer=8225711

Just don't forget to cancel the offer you sign up for about 5-6 days later.

Day with Ms. Sun Shine AKA Crystal

Thu, 12 Aug 2004 04:13:30 GMT

Man this LJ is worthless, hahahaha, I've decided that I rather live life, than write about it, but from time to time, when I get bored, I guess it kills time. So here goes....

A day with Ms. C. begins with the sleeping in (i.e. Noon+). Followed by the "Give me 20 minutes to get ready," of which I end up giving an hourish and she's still not ready.Once we head out to eat at Elephant Bar, its pretty good from that point on. We have our usual bicker and what not. The semi deep convo. Seems as if Crystal holds back sometimes (maybe its all in my head). From food to the hospital. She still doesn't know her blood type. B positive right here, so if you need blood, well too bad, get your own. SUCKA. Got more interesting on the way to the mall. I think the term was, "familiar." What in the hell is "familiar." Ms. C. says, I'm very familiar with her, therefore all my friends that are girls, their boyfriends hate me. Hmm, some truth to that I suppose. I'm not conscience of what I do, oh well. (I secretly Love Crystal, psshhhh, don't say anything) haha. Saw Nicki at his cart in the mall. Damn he looked like he was gonna die of boredeom. Watched Collaterial, I give it a Bish grade. After the movie, we kicked it with Nicki for a while, I saw some old friends, (silvia, Camelle, Linda). Eventually bailed home.

Little bit of time to spare.

Sun, 13 Jun 2004 23:53:32 GMT

How to make a aznjester45

Ingredients:

3 parts intelligence

3 parts humour

1 part beauty

Method:
Layer ingredientes in a shot glass. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of lustfulness

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

aznjester45's LJ stalker is youatemysushi!

youatemysushi is stalking you because they heard you are awesome in bed, and they want to find out. They are also stalking the rest of your friends list!

LJ Stalker Finder
From Go-Quiz.com